Wednesday, June 15, 2011

San Franny Recap and Shit I Want Wednesday

Sweet Jeezus.  I'm finally back from San Francisco a day late and several hundred dollars short.  I was supposed to return to real life on Monday but I'm tragically impulsive and horribly narcoleptic and decided to stay an extra day.   I had wanted to check out some shops and live it up in San Franny like a classy-ass broad but my plans got head-butted by the cold hard fact that I was there alone with my kids.  SF is NOT a kid friendly town by any means and I swear to Cthulhu that my chilluns were the only chilluns in a 5 block radius.  Those artist-hobos and trust fund-hipsters didn't know what hit them.  Still, it isn't hard to have a good time in San Franny, even if your travel companions are between the ages of 2 and 9, and I'll tell you why:  The food in San Francisco is fucking delicious.  There seems to be a creamery and a bakery on every corner and I can't swing a baby without hitting an organic grass-fed burger joint.  I made figurative love to all of it.


Tapas and sangria at Esperpento in the Mission:
My offspring going to town on cured ham, alcachofas a la plancha, tortilla de patata, calamares fritas,  and pollo al ajillo.



Saffron, brown sugar-banana, dutch chocolate and vanilla coconut ice creams at Xanath in the Mission:
11:00 pm and cracked out on ice cream.



Grass-fed wieners and oysters on the half-shell in the Ferry Building:
I totally talked my oldest one into eating these



Rose, lilikoi, blood orange, and chocolate macaroons PLUS princess cake from Fillmore Bakeshop in Pac Heights:
Best macaroons.  Ever.  I'd give my right ovary for another half dozen.



Gigantic sandwiches from Mollie Stone's
I forgot to take a picture of my actual sandwich because I was too busy stuffing my face.



My weight in sourdough from Boudin:
I couldn't stop eating this and it wasn't even mine.  It was Liam's.  I ordered a salad like a dainty lady.



Wine and lethargy in Dolores Park:
Play your cards right and you'll find a lady selling Space Cakes for $2.50.  I settled for 2-3 glasses of wine and playing with strangers' dogs.



Salted-caramel soft-serve from Bi-Rite in Mission Dolores:
Once again, I forgot to take a picture because I was too busy nomming.



Hamburgers the size of your head from Urbun Burger in the Mission:
It's pretty hard to fuck up burgers and beer but still, pretty good in my opinion.

So, I hope this explains why my jeans are tight and my wallet is empty.  I hope we can do this again, San Francisco.  Loooooooove you.

On to some shit I want! (other than a faster metabolism and more macaroons.) 

 I was introduced to this in San Francisco by my brother:


I had never seen or heard of this before.  It's called Ploom.  It's like an e-cigarette though there's no "e" involved since it is powered by butane and it uses actual tobacco (or herbs) instead of chemical nicotine. It's like a portable vaporizer/hookah.  There's different flavored little pods that you just pop in and puff away and I like the fact that it's smokeless so you don't smell like a bum's nutsack like you do after smoking conventional cigarettes.  I just wish it was a little more stylish.  I should have taken a pic of me using it but you essentially look like you're sucking on a highlighting marker.  It does say "beta" on the side (it's a san franny start-up) so maybe they'll come out with a style that looks more Auntie Mame and less like an orally fixated co-ed.

Ploom, take note.  This is what I want:


9 comments:

  1. Is that a bread roll with soup in it? Whether or not it is, it's a marvellous idea. I'm off to hollow out a crusty loaf and heat up a tin of Campbells. How long til it leaks?

    If children are up at 11 (the horror) I imagine ice-cream is the only way. SF sounds wonderful, I await the time that my offspring are old enough to enjoy loooong holidays with Granny.

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  2. Ha! Look at those two cracked out on ice-cream, hilarious. They look kind of dazed and confused.
    What is that? Is it, like Lakota said, bread with soup in it? It looks gorgeous. xxx

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  3. Vix and Lakota - Haha. That is soup in a bowl. Clam chowder to be exact. Totally touristy. As long as your loaf is chewy, I don't think it ever leaks. They should line boats with that stuff.

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  4. i got that same delicious ass bread bowl from boudin's. i was feeling like shit that day, and then after i ate it, i felt like a miracle had been performed. there's magic in them thar breads.

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  5. Bienvenida amor,
    Que felices se ven tus chiquillos comiendo.
    All the food looks so good, se me antoja.

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  6. Haha! You are cracking me up. Your offspring must love u! Esp. if you could talk them into eating oysters.

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  7. You're Lucky - Was this after the infamous tea house incident? If Boudin's made you feel better then that WAS a miracle.

    La Dama - Ha. We're a whole family of professional eaters.

    La Sophia - Haha. I wish! My oldest is pretty adventurous in the food department all on his own.

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  8. I finally got my ass over to check you out!!
    I LOVE the name of your blog!! And I love that pic of Louise Brooks!She's awesome!!
    And I'm hysterical about the kids cracked up on icecream!!!! I'm often guilty of sugaring kids up,makes me laugh......naughty!!
    XXX

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  9. Gracias,
    fijate, que I never thought of looking like Maria Montez. ,ya que veo las fotos, I see a little resemblance,she even rock the hell out the bangs.

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